"Porsche !! Porsche !! Fuck! " Kinn felt like he is losing his mind. Seeing Porsche unconscious made his heart squeeze with pain. His eyes fell upon the bloody trail on the floor, looks like Porsche tried to crawl towards the door. Porsche might be felled from the stairs, was he too drunk to hear Porsche? fucking hell..how could he have sex upstairs while his husband is in pain..For the first time in his life, Kinn felt disgusted about himself.

Kinn started to dial for help, holding on to Porsche who was heavily bleeding, Kinn is in panic seeing the young man in such a state.

"Porsche..you are bleeding..or god.."Kinn gently took the limp body to his arms..but there was something wrong..Porsche has a swollen belly..with trembling hands he uncovers the belly with the loose hoody Porsche was wearing only to get shocked..

"Fuck..You ..Porsche..You are pregnant.." Kinn felt helpless, Porsche has been pregnant all along but Kinn didn't know.is this what Porsche wanted to talk to him about? The blood was still coming through Porsche's lower body made Kinn Panick. He didn't want to waste more time..He rushed to the nearest hospital.

Later in the hospital paramedics took quick action taking Porsche with them, Kinn insisted to come inside the operating room, seems to be paramedics judging him with the bruises on Porsche's face, Kinn felt it with stares looking at Porsche's state. But at the moment he can't worry about others..he wants to know Porsche's condition and his baby..Obviously, Kinn knows ..This is his baby..Porsche rarely went outside and the baby is his..

Kinn already made a plan to Throw Thawan out of his life. Porsche has always been a faithful husband. Till today he couldn't find any bad thing or rumour about Porsche. The guards, Kinn placed to follow him confirm that and the CCTV gave enough evidence that Porsche has always been inside the house cleaning and doing his hobby gardening..Now is not the time to regret what he did Kinn decided. With the Baby, they could start again.

For the first time his protective instincts as a father kicked in, he doesn't know the feeling but, he was scared and anxious, he try to go inside again..as the husband of the patient he could go inside if not his family owned this hospital..he tried again but the paramedics removed him, he felt a rip in his heart.

After a few minutes of Arriving at the hospital, Porsche's fans surrounded the hospital as somehow the news leaked to the media heavily bleeding Porsche was admitted to the hospital the Nurses rapidly discussed the patient's condition and, not just one but five doctors were attending to Porsche. His condition is critical Kinn heard making him to pray to god for help.

The nurses held Kinn down to settle outside without letting him entering to the ER, Kinn doesn't know what is going on and how is his husband doing, his phone suddenly burst from a call.

"Hello?" Kinn's voice is still shaken.

"Where are you?" Demanded by his Ex-boyfriend Thawan.Yes, kinn already decided to throw this filthy whore out of his life.

"it's an emergency...I had to come out" he replied. Kinn decided to stay calm.

"Is that even more important than me..kinn you believe me right..That video..its fake ok..you have to trust me and that gold digger ..he is not on the floor..there is blood on the floor..send someone to clean ok..?" his Ex lover ordered without concern about anything and hang up the phone..Kinn knew Thawan is still thinking of him as an idiot blindly believing his word. But Kinn swore to himself Thawan will soon find his place.

After months of being together with Porsche he's starting to realize even after years of dating, Thawan never cooks a meal for him.Thawan always wanted to go to the luxury restaurant and kinn happily obligates his every wish blindly like a fool. But today he realizes what a fool he has been..He was chasing after garbage all this time while keeping a gem in his house..he knows it took too much time for him to realize this but somehow he wants to mend his relationship with Porsche, Kinn instructed his right-hand man, Big to dig things up and give him reports and check the CCTV installed in the home to find exactly what happened to Porsche.

The news of Porsche being admitted to the hospital spread like wildfire. There were fans struggling outside making the management use force to send them away. But still, Porsche's fans waited outside to know what happened to their favourite actor.

Soon Kinn's family came running without knowing anything.

Media added more things to this matter making the hospital make a public announcement by admitting Porsche indeed admitted to the hospital. But they hid the main part..The hospital announced Porsche fell from the staircase.

"Kinn..What happened?" his mother asked Kinn who is pacing in front of the operating room.

"Mom..I..I.." what is he going to say..He is speechless. How can he say he didn't know his husband was pregnant or should he say how he avoided and neglected him at the same time abusing him?

But before Kinn speaks, the doctors came out, and they informed Kinn about Porsche's state, he sighed in relief that his husband is in the recovery room but they still need to observe him since he was in a sensitive state.

"He lost a lot of blood, not from the wound he got from the fall but I'm sorry to say this sir, but your husband lost blood from the miscarriage, we managed to save your husband but not your son" the doctor looked down as showing sympathy and the gasps of horror that had followed were too loud to be ignored.

"His baby is gone..?"

Kinn felt like a sharp knife stabbed through his heart.. he had no idea how much more he could take the shooting pangs of agony that kept exploding in his chest. He had no control over his tears anymore because they kept coming out without stopping.

"Kinn..Porsche was preganant? oh..god..why? My poor child ..? " Kinn's mom sniffed in her husband's stronghold.

"You fucking bastard.." out of nowhere Kinn received a slap making his face wiped to the side. It was none other than Yok. He and a few of Porsche's friends were there fuming in anger.

Yok and others rushed to the hospital as soon as the news reached them that Porsche has been admitted to the hospital with heavy bleeding. they had to use their influence to get inside as there were guards heavily guarding the hospital entrance.

As soon as Yok saw Kinn crying..He slapped him harder and grabbed his collar..He has seen the bruises of Kinn's assaults before and Porsche has always been quiet about that. But finally, he has to admit to the hospital. Yok trust Kinn is behind this..

Theerapanyakul family bodyguards and nurses had to hold Yok and his friends down as they tried to attack Kinn.

"Kinn..What's happening? Why all of them – " Kinn's mother couldn't complete her words..

"Why? Ask your son..ask him how he assault Porsche daily..his body was covered with bruises.." Yelled Yok turned to the doctors standing at the corner.

"Doctor..Please..How are Porsche and the baby? " asked Yook with concern. He can kill this bastard later. First, he wants to know about his Po Baby..

"Sorry, he had a miscarriage..but now he is stable..and I must mention we have seen he has scars on his body and we believe it's due to domestic violence. "Doctor narrowed his eyes at Kinn who was standing silently with tears streaming down his cheeks.

"What? Oh god..He had hoped..You fucker..I want to Kill you.."Yok again tried to attack only to hold him down by the guards and drag them out of there while Yok and Porsch's friends curse at Kinn.

Kinn couldn't look at his family..His brothers Thankhun and Kim were there with his parents and he doesn't want to see their eyes. But he was pretty much sure They also wants to beat him up.

Indeed they were looking at Kinn..Their mother was sobbing in their Pa's chest. Thankhun witnessed the moment something just break inside Kinn's wet eyes, and yet, surprisingly it didn't affect him in the least. He watched, without feeling any remorse for the weeping man as he sat on his knees, unable to speak or say anything as he bowed his head down in shame and guilt.

Thankhun was there when his mother first met Porsche. Such an innocent boy. But that same boy lying in a hospital bed thanks to his brother.

"We are ashamed of you Kinn.." his father's voice ranged his ears.

"Get the hell out of here Kinn...We will look after him" his mother said while wiping her tears.

"NO !!"

"I won't go anywhere.. he is my husband...I admit I did mistake and I regret it..I want to be with him..I want to fix and mend my mistakes.."

After many arguments back and forth Kinn was still waiting outside the room while Theerapanyakul's family went promising they are going to come as soon as Porsche gain conscious.

On the outside..News has already leaked to the fans that their favourite actor was a victim of domestic violence, making Kinn receive hatred through social media.

Kinn had his own fandom, they tried to support Kinn but evidence that was leaking through Nurses made Kinn's fans stay quiet as there were pieces of evidence against Kinn including eyewitnesses. Even Yok and his friends openly started to talk about Kinn using violence against Porsche.

But..Soon Media stopped talking about this incident and another scandal came out of a raising actress, Proving money can do anything in this world. Theerapanyakul family threw millions to cover the story and evidence and stopped Yok by filing law suite against Kinn.

No matter how hard Yok tried to get justice for Porsche. Nothing seems to work..

After three days the doctor informed them that Porsche has gained concessions.

Immediately Kinn stormed off in, Porsche was awake, but not himself, looking at the window and the sky, it was late in the afternoon and the sun was about to set, the sky turning orange and Porsche found it saddening. the young man remained still looking down, with no tears in his eyes, fingers fiddling with his missing bump.

Yok and Kinn's family were left outside since Kinn is the husband and they let him go inside as he mentioned he didn't do anything and he found Porche lying on the floor when he woke up.

No matter how hard Kinn tried to speak to him Porsche remained silent. His eyes were lifeless. Kinn let others approach Porsche..But they could not get a single word or tear out of Porsche. Porsche sat on the bed emotionlessly.

Yok came out of the room crying to grab Kinn by his collar "What did he do to you ? He even want to have a divorce..go somewhere far from you..he said his baby is enough for him..Why ..Why ? ", "You prick! It's your entire fault Porsche had to suffer! " he cried.

"I didn't know he was pregnant!" countered Kinn trying to reason out his claims.

"You never listened you asshole! you never let him speak..fuck you, bastard.." He sobbed more.

"You not only killed your own child..you killed my friend too.." said Yok walking away.

"No...No...It not me..Not me..I didn't.."Kinn screamed with pain..how can he kill his own child. If only he stopped for a minute to talk to listen to Porsche. But it's too late now.

For an entire week, Porsche stayed in the hospital, and Kinn stayed with him..But Porsche didn't utter a single word so far..not to him or anybody else.

Many things happened this week. Thawan went missing..And Porsche had to go through another operation. according to the doctor..Porsche has unfixed broken ribs, the result of his husband's assault. When the doctor is explaining Porsche's situation Others look at Kinn with disgust while kinn looked down ashamed of himself.

Yok and Porsche's others friends came to visit him every day but Porsche stayed silent no matter what joke they cracked to make him laugh.

"He was afraid, he loved the child! Even though the father might not care or love him back! He planned to leave with the child! He was so happy to know the baby is healthy and would be due soon,!"

"You only didn't kill the child, you are also killing my friend" Yok cried as usual cursing and throwing punches at Kinn's chest.

"Porsche right now is dying because of you! We remained silent because Porsche begged us to! But this is the last straw..you have to let him come with us..we are taking him with us.."

"No..You can't take him away from me..he is mine.."Kinn looked distressed and lost. He wants to cry..He regrets everything he has done to this pure soul. if Porsche left him..no he can't let that happen.

Kinn looked so broken and hurt. He can't bare this..The guilt is killing him inside. Porsche is emotionless..he is not having any meals..Every time Kinn was in Porsche's room  Kinn apologise and cried but Porsche didn't bat an eye on him. he was sitting emotionless fiddling with his flat tummy..Making kinn feel worse..

"I'm so sorry, I didn't know..I shouldn't listen to Thawan..Please forgive me" he cried every day..

"Mr.Porsche suffers from anaemia and weight loss," one doctor said to Kinn making him feel worse.

"Also Doctor Lee called in that he needed to get Mr Porsche to another surgery to be followed for another" nurse added.

"What?" Kinn shouted. He is confused because of the sudden surgeries. He just had surgery ..why he has to go under the knife again.

"Mr Porsche suffers not just emotional trauma and emotional injury but also physical, we found on his x-rays that he has other cracked bones as well, and it caused more damage after the fall, that was quite a high stairs you know, sir," the nurse said sarcastically. Guessing Kinn had his hand on Porsche falling from the stairs.No matter how much kinn denied it no body bother to believe him seeing the damage he had done by himself.

"Mr. Porsche had permanently injured his knee and arm from the fall, and previously cracked bones were unable to heal back to their place without proper medical care and left in its critical and broken state adding the situation where he fell off the stairs," Nurse said with sympathy looking at the emotionlessly man sitting on the bed. But when she looked at Kinn..The glance was filled with disgust. If looks can kill, Kinn might be dead thousand times through the time he spent in the hospital.

The Nurses and Doctors who used to try to get a single glance at him and smile at him whenever he come to the hospital for meetings in the past now look at him as seeing an animal, no worse than an animal. with disgust and Kinn knew he deserve it.

"Do you know I'm also his fan, he's a great actor with skills until you stole him from the world and hurt him the worse way" she added, "You are now trending as the worst husband and being hated and just you know we hate you too..You are worse than an animal" and she left.

"I know I hate myself too" A new tear trail escaped his eyes.

After two months' time, Porche has been wheeled out of the hospital through VIP Parking without letting any media know.

After many arguments between his family and Yok and Porsche's friends..Kinn took him to their home..they used to live. Kinn wanted to wipe out all the bad memories and make happy memories between them. He was determined about that.

.

.

"And here's all the things Porsche bought for the baby, we sent the bottles and foldable crib with the prams to your house," Yok hissed at Kinn. He was not happy about sending Porsche with Kinn. Porsche silently went with the flow without opposing Kinn and Yok had no choice.

Till today Porsche didn't utter a word to Kinn...He tried many times but no..nothing..Porsche always looked at him with empty eyes without any emotion. Kinn silently took the small bear plushie Porsche had bought for their baby and, placing the bear on Porsche's side, he had so many questions he wanted to ask but he can't he was too broken himself, and seeing the things Porsche had bought for their baby made him break down on his knees but he didn't receive any sympathy from his family and he deserves it, he knew..

Porsche took the little plushie kept at his side and sobbed remembering his child..his unborn child. Kinn breathed in and out looking like a zombie holding Porsche's hand while his tears are falling, "I'm sorry..." he muttered and sobbed in regret.

Kinn had built a small grave for their unborn child behind the garden. Kinn hired some landscapers to fix their backyard to make it presentable and arrange some flowers to surround the resting place of their child, their unborn child is buried under the little blank shrine he had put up, a small Angel beside the small gravestone like a shelter for the tombstone, being shaded by a huge tree.

Kinn is still hated by Porsche's fans and others...He can bare others' hatred but he can't bare when Porsche is always looking at their son's grave and even though he is in a wheelchair, his wheelchair is always near the window while Porsche is gazing at their son's grave.

Weeks later doctor allowed Porsche to walk and he silently took his steps to his son's grave as soon as Porsche touch the gravestone he break down in tears. He cried louder releasing all his frustration while the two nurses who were there to look after Porsche tear up. 

Kinn cried silently..he punched the wall till his knuckles bleed to release his anger. He is angry at himself.

His family hate him, and his friends also upset with him, "I told you to just go along with the marriage but not to hurt Porsche" he pointed, "I didn't know you're that kind of a man,Kinn ! You should go to jail for your crime.. I'm surprised I'm still friends with you" said by his friends.

Kinn's afraid to approach Porsche thinking his sight will upset Porsche but he would stand around to watch him from afar.

"Call me if anything happens please" begged Kinn to the nurses.

"We will, sir" nodded the nurses.

"Thank you Michelle" Kinn sighed. He had to go to a meeting. Even his brother is handling his business behalf of him. today he had to attend this meeting by himself.

Another week passed and one morning Kinn was shocked when Porsche served him breakfast that morning.

"Your breakfast.." Porsche muttered slowly like in past months he waited at the dining table for Kinn. waiting for him.

Kinn rushed to the place and stood closer to Porsche making him flinch..Kinn felt bad again...he traumatised Porsche with his action." Im sorry" muttered Kinn sitting and eating for the first time since they married. And he had another regret for not tasting his husband's food. They were delicious.

Kinn asked for Lunch politely making Porches pack some food for him excitedly.

Day by day, Porsche got better, but he talked less and less, Yok frequently visit worrying and so as Kinn's parents with the family who often bring plush toys for Porsche to keep.

Porsche refused to have nurses around and became stubborn Kinn gave up and imposed himself to watch him from afar instead. Kinn never missed any meals and even though they don't talk much Kinn made Porsche eat at the dining table to eat together. It was a huge improvement according to Kinn.

one day on the way home, Kinn saw a small kitten on the side of the road and decided to take it home. Before taking the small kitten home he made sure to visit a vet.

after giving full grooming to the little kitty kinn placed the small Kitty on Porsche's lap making him jump. But within seconds Porsche hugged the little kitten to his chest making Kinn smile with happiness.

"Does he have a name?" and for the first time Porsche talked a long sentence to him first.

"U... Uh... no..." Kinn forgot about that.

Kinn let Porsche name the smaller one, "Micky, his name is Micky" and hugged the little kitten.

Kinn was quite happy; he felt like they were on a good track..taking baby steps..

Every day Kinn would bring home gifts, lavishing his husband like he lavished his Ex-boyfriend. But the difference was all the things his mate liked were not expensive and overpriced like Thawan tricked him to buy, still, the pain he had caused and the guilt that was bothering him never left.

One weekend Kinn decided to stay home, Porsche is making lunch for them, and Kinn made sure to keep an eye on Porsche as he noticed Porsche is getting thinner and pale these days. Suddenly he fainted and Kinn came into panic again, calling an Ambulance in panic.

After running Porsche to the same hospital, they pressed the doctor who treated him, "This might be the proper time to tell you, sir" The doctor sighed, and Yok and Kinn's mother who was with him listened.

"While we were testing him, we discovered he was already in stage one cancer, it was treatable," the doctor said, "We pressed him to have his treatments but he won't budge, and when we wanted to tell you he stopped us, it was his decision alone, sir. We can't do anything. Right now I'm breaking an oath but for the sake of Mr. Porsche and you, I thought you need to know" he said.

"C-can it still be tr-treated?" Kinn pleaded with tears.

"Sir, He has reached to stage 4, I'm afraid it is too late all I can say is that he could survive for only four months maximum. I'm sorry, but we'll try everything to treat him and prolong your time with him" said the doctor, "We'll do everything" the doctor said and patted Kinn's shoulder apologetically and left.

"No..No..Why..Why..?"Kinn pulled his hair. A wailed sob slipped past his trembling lips as the events of the previous hour flooded his mind and he crashed down with a loud thud echoing throughout the dead quiet hallways as his legs finally gave up on him.

Yok and Kinn's mother weep in the corner helplessly.

.

.

"He's awake," said the same nurse, and Kinn raced to see his husband.

"Porsche..." Kinn held his hand, Porsche looked at the window again not speaking a single word, being back to his depressed self.

They then soon discovered that Porsche didn't take his medicines and had been depressed and was pushing his limits, another doctor came to see and talk to Kinn mentioning that Porsche gave up life after what happened to his child, and Kinn felt limp and even more guilty.

He promised himself he'll do everything for Porsche's remaining time.

Days later he brought home his husband who was again back to his wheelchair and avoiding everyone, including his worried friends, Yok cried, "I promise I'll do all my best to help treat Porsche back and give all the things he deserved, I might not be forgiven but I won't waste the remaining time he has left with me" Kinn said with tears.

"Kinn would spend his day with Porsche talking to him even the other won't respond and would like to look either at the sky or at their child's grave.

Porsche's head is all bald after the first chemotherapy kicked in and his body started to weaken due to the effect, Kinn hired many helpers and nurses but he made sure to do all Porsche's work by his own hands while he imposed himself to feed Porsche who refused to also eat.

One night when he had carried Porsche to their now shared bed, he opened the diary Porsche always kept closer to him, his knees collapsed on the floor and hugged the diary to his chest.

Porsche's every pain he suffered by Kinn's hands was written there. And even after every finishing line there were mentioned how much Porsche loved him. He is a loser who couldn't protect the gift he received from heaven.

Every day Kinn woke up with tears at the same time he went to sleep with tears. Pain is not from any physical pain but mental pain. Every time Kinn sees Porsche ..all the flashbacks come to his mind. how he abused this pure soul and Porsche is suffering because of him. Heaven had been making him suffer.

He hurt, cheated, humiliated and killed his husband, the gift he received from heaven. He now knows he's an awful person who deserves to suffer for what he had done to his husband.

After three months of painful time..no matter what expensive treatment Porsche went through..He kept getting weak..Doctors raised their hands signalling there was no hope.

One night Kinn ended up begging him..

"Porsche..baby..Please don't leave me..I can't..i cant without you..Please fight for me.." Kinn breaks down in tears while kneeling in front of Porsche. Porsche silently looked at him then moved to gently patt Kin's head.

"Kinn..I am tired .." Porsche announce in a small voice.

"Yes..Yes..Let's sleep.." Kinn wiped his tears and gently place Porsche in their shared place moving to the other side lying but facing Porsche.

"Kinn..can we talk till I fell asleep?"

"Yeah..yeah..baby.."Kinn said excitedly. This is the first time Porsche initiates a conversation otherwise he always made short answers..

"Today I want to talk to you..do you know when I saw you for the first time? "Porsche questioned while kinn shook his head. Kinn had no idea.

"I saw you at the hospital..you were carrying a bleeding child..you were my hero.." Porsche declared. His doe eyes were shining remembering the incident.

yes..Kinn remembers that incident but it was more than one year's time befor they met. Kinn wants to know more.

"I fell in love with you at first sight..I am sorry I didn't know about you and Thawan..never intend to come between you two..I am sorry.."Porsche looked apologetic.

"No...No...I was a fool ..please don't apologize...I am the one who should apologise. Please forgive me.."Kinn reached for Porsche and Kissed his temple only making Porsche flinch. Kinn is used to this flinches..no matter how gently he approached to Porsche. he always flinches.

Kinn felt bad and hurt since he made Porsche traumatized, kissing his knuckles and assuring him it's fine and he won't hurt Porsche anymore.

"I'm sorry for all of the things I did and hurt you, resulting in letting you in this position" he sobbed as he held Porsche's hand.

"Porsche please fight for me and I'll give you everything" taking the young man's knuckles and kissing them. "Stay close to me and never leave please?" he pleaded, Porsche looked at him with a tear in his eyes.

"I am sorry..." said Porsche sending the message he could not promise such a thing.

"Sleep Kinn.. it's late.." Porsche's fingers gently caressed Kinn's hair. Kinn lay down closer to Porsche cuddling him. Kinn closed his eyes while Porsche patted his head gently like a mother making a child sleep. Porsche was looking at him with an unexplainable look and Porsche slowly leaned down..Porsche slowly placed his lips on Kinn making Kinn feel happy and they were look at each other lovingly.

"Kinn, I and our son love you..always remember that..I am tired.." Porsche again pecked his lips and close his eyes. After a long time, Kinn went to sleep with happy tears.

The next morning, "Po, baby ?" Kinn called gently patting Porsche and giving his cheeks a kiss repeatedly calling him. But there was no response, "Porsche, please?" Kinn started to panic.

Carrying Porsche to the living room and calling some help again, the doctor announced that Porsche is no longer with them, making Kinn sink on the floor and cried.

On the day of his funeral, Kinn made a speech as husband..

"Porsche is a gift from heaven which I failed to care and notice" he started, "I was the worst and I admit it.." he acknowledge his mistakes and fault, bowing his head holding Porsche's picture in his arms tightly, tears falling from his eyes.

"Porsche is the perfect gift that I lost, not just one but two gifts in fact, I hope he and our son, whom I named Phoenix be reunited and be happy together" His tears started to run down his cheeks as he spoke in on the podium, in the short memories left by his husband. Kinn cried for his deed while the whole world cried along with him for the loss of a great human being.

"The gifts I wasted and lost needed to be taken back by God, I deserve it" said Kinn, He was unable to continue his speech longer as he broke down so he ended his words and cried at the sight of Porsche's coffin being lowered to the ground, "I'm sorry, baby..Please forgive me," said Kinn as he holds on to the Red roses and threw them to Porsche's coffin which is already placed under the pit.

Finally, Kinn knelt in front of the grave crying in despair, still grieving from the loss of his most beloved Porsche and their unborn child. This pain, he will carry this until he dies.

"Sir..We took Thawan to the warehouse.."Big came to him and whispered.

"Ok..I will be there" kinn dismissed Big and turn to the grave.

"Baby..I have unfinished business..I will see you soon.." Kinn kissed the gravestone and turned to leave..Today his ex-boyfriend will learn the consciousness of pushing Porsche from the stairs..Kinn paused and turn to see the gravestone again with a sad smile.

"We will be together soon. Please wait for me, My Love" He whispered and a gentle cold breeze brushes his skin.